LOVE

L O V E

hover around the letters above

ARE YOU STILL USING EXPLORER?
GIVE UP ON THAT
CATCH UP WITH THE TREND YOU LOSER
USE MOZILLA FIREFOX
BEST IN SINGAPORE, DUBAI & some say SRI LANKA

THIS BABY IS EXCELLENT WHEN VIEWED IN MOZILLA FIREFOX
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED (:

Tried to write a letter; In Love
I've got a piece of paper; But it's Empty

Sore Losers

why are Man Utd fans such sore losers?
i know this news is stale but the headline caught my attention.
why can't they just be like me?
and say "aiya, give chance la. nevermind, next time win"
instead they just lost their minds and knock the opponents down and kill them.
all that just for a match? is it worth it? maybe for them.
titles can come and go, but life comes only once. once it's gone, it's forever.
that's what i think, but not what they think.
to them, titles are everything. if you lose it, you're dead.
fuck them. i'm ashamed to call them fellow Man Utd fans.
listen here all, Man Utd might have lost the title, but that's not the end of the road.
as long as we believe, we can pull through. then, we can held our heads high.
and sing: GLORY GLORY MAN UNITED! :D

i miss you like crazy.

it ended: 2340.
30 May 2009.
till next time.
mucho loves.
iifaa

His Ears Were Plugged

just now was so not important.
as much as i don't like OANP, it's practicals are so damn cool can.
did you know that your eyes are a phenomenon? seriously!
if you think looking at one's eye with your naked eye is beautiful, try looking at it with a slit lamp.
uber cool can. i was awed by the beauty of the eyes. (:
moving on. oh ya. i saw afiq. ytd and today. *senyum lebar sampai telinga*
im surprised that Hop recognises me. he waved at me while i was in the opthalmic lab.
T01 camwhored at ourspace during break. yeahman!
i went home alone. ): reached home, saw daddy at the door & my brothers getting ready.
& i was like, "wait for me!" i changed my jeans, not knowing where we're going and tagged along.
went to JP to search for syamil's tee for camp. ate at Sakura.
saw this guy, working at F&O, waiting for customers with his ears plugged.
die tunggu customer ke customer tunggu die pun aku tktau. haha.
i hope you know who you are. hinthint(:
most importantly, he didn't see me! ciss, khayal betul.
and so my day ended.

oh btw to end my wednesday after i said goodbye to kal, i smiled.
while looking at him walk away. then i saw a car.
i purposely made a detour to check the mailbox even though i have no key.
then i took the lift with 2 guys from the car. one carrying a little girl, another carrying her bag.
even though i didn't notice his face, i think he look cute. hahaha.
then when i walked out of the lift, he said, "oh satu blok rupenye" haha.
if only i had time to turn around and smile. sigh.
first impression: mat. but i don't mind(: gatal sak faa.
to hanis & shareena: this is just a passing feeling. saturday major crush still applies(:

hanya kau yang mampu taklukkan hatiku

it ended: 0110.
29 May 2009.
till next time.
mucho loves.
iifaa

Moments of Magic

hello peeps! how's it going? my wednesday was accecptable.
REWIND PLEASE! i want it back. i love those moments. (:
ok so. i was late for GPO although it started at ONE.
i finished kal's present last minute. & i didn't even care that i was late until i waited for the bus at clem. tsktsk iifaa.
school was okay. i left maths early. met atin, ate. left for JP to meet kal for our secret date.
it's called secret cause even we don't know it's a date. cause it's not la. hahaha.
met him, passed the present. we decided to lepak. took 241. off we go.
was looking forward to that when my mood totally changed by a sms.
i couldn't bring myself to do it even though i really want to. im sorry.
i'll make it up to you, i promise. but must wait. (: i'm just afraid. i hope you understand.

i'ld do anything to experience those moments again

i love you (:

it ended: 2350.
28 May 2009.
till next time.
mucho loves.
iifaa

Tagged

tagged by Hanis!

1. Besides your lips,where is your favourite spot to get kissed? cheek(: &forehead.

2. How do you feel when you woke up this morning? i opened my eyes, sit up and lie back. cannot tahan la.

3. Who was the last person who you took picture with? T01 bonded people! using Tina's lappy.

.4. Who you consider to be spoiled? me? haha. you'll know when you see them.

.5. Would you ever donate blood? i almost did! but i was too scared. maybe next time.

6. Do you have a good friend of an opposite sex? yeah.

7. Do you want someone to be dead? maybe.

8. What does your last text msg says? hey. msg me if you free tonight. (: ; to kal.

9. What are you thinking right now? i haven't do tutorial. how?!

10. Did you wish someone was with you right now? YES! oh where oh where has my someone gone? oh where oh where can he be? (:

11. When did you go to sleep last night? forgot. but it was surprisingly early.

12. Where did you buy the t-shirt you are wearing right now? i'm a wearing a butterfly dress bought by mummy. baju makcik2 siol.

13. Is someone on your mind right now? YES.

14. Who was the last person you texted to? KAL.

15. Tag 10 people to do this quiz .

1. Kal
2. Aifa
3. Afiq
4. Azzrul
5. Nurul
6. Jamie
7. Pehan
8. Atin
9. Izan
10. Iman

16. Who is 2 (Aifa) having a relationship with? Shaieful Azan Bin Zanal Abidin. (:
17. Is 3 (Afiq) a male or a female? err..FE.. oops MALE :D
18. If 7 (Pehan) and 10 (Iman) gets together, will it be a good thing? maybe. LOL. gay siol.
19. Is 1 (Kal) studies good? err..are you, kal? haha. actually he is, but he's just plain lazy, like me! (:
20. Is 4 (Azzrul) single? no. haha. too bad. LOL.
21. Say something about 5 (Nurul)? bestest sister. in case you don't already know, i don't have a sister.
22. What do you think about 3 (Afiq) and 6 (Jamie) together? no way. haha. Jamie only wants E.
23. Describe 1 (Kal). three words. M.O.O. (: google it yourself.
24. What happens if 9 (Izan) and 8 (Atin) fight? never gonna happen.
25. Do you like 10 (Iman)? no. i LOVE my scandaliciousbaby!

it ended: 2310.
28 May 2009.
till next time.
mucho loves.
iifaa

Legal Age, Not Height

i'm officially broke as of right now. i'm always broke anyway.
what difference can it make. but i don't regret spending my money away just now.
cause for my love, i'll sacrifice. (:
i'm doing my best to make it special. it might be my last.

special thanks to atin for accompanying me to bugis just now.
although i didn't find what i wanted, the one i got was good enough.
i'm loving it. & i can't wait to see it worn.
iluma is so damn huge, i'm scared of it. ohmy.

a big great huge large enormous shoutout to
Muhammad Haikal Muhammad Harris
on celebrating his 18th today!
haha semangat pe faa. you better thank me eh ahdiam ah boy. :D
semoga dipanjangkan umur, dimurahkan rezeki dan yang sewaktu dengannya.
when you get your license, remember that you promised me the first ride. (: haha.
takecare ok dear. enjoys your day ahead. you have less than 24hours.
i love you la sey. BFF siol. hahahaha. you'll get your present when you meet me.
no time, no present. so make some time for me. LOL. ok bye.
XOXO, iifaa♥

i'm thinking of not going for maths later. we'll see how. but confirm i won't bring notes.
i really want to meet you later. misses you la.

it ended: 0050.
27 May 2009.
till next time.
mucho loves.
iifaa

Fuck My Screwed Up Life

welcome back babiess!
i know i've neglecting this space of mine but i've been extremely busy.
i'm so not coping well enough with my studies so far.
TWO biology modules are just too much for me.
tu la. gatal kan nk amek course bio. rase ah kau. (see, who told you to apply for bio course? serve you right.)

putting that aside, i just came back from NP MCC FOC.
just as you all know, i joined Malay Cultural Club under Adiratna(Dikir).
been training my voice and claps. omg it's hard sia. but who knows, by next year, i can sing well. :D
the camp was FUNFUNFUN! but at the same time, quite boring.
could have been better la. nvm. kudos to them who worked hard for it. MCC loves~
INTAN RAWKS LA SEY!

oh ya. i fell in love, i think. i don't think it's love yet. but somewhere there. major crush.
sadly, we haven't talked yet. let me tell you about him.
i met him in MCC FOC. different group. he looks almost exactly like afiq.
& guess what? his name is afiq too. hahaha.
his attractive factor is that although he looks like afiq, he looks more like Ashri aka Dani from Danielle.
tu yg buat aku cair beb. (that's what makes me melt)

there are ALOT of couples in MCC. & i find them sweet & cute. whichever suits best.
but at the same time, i keep having flashbacks. i hate that.
i don't hate the memories. it's just that when it comes, my mood totally change.
& nothing can change it back. i seriously don't know why i'm feeling this way.
i told myself to move on. & i did. but now, i stopped moving on. i'm just stopping there.
am i waiting? maybe, i am. why am i feeling this way? are you feeling the same way too?
maybe i'm still hoping for a miracle. as i type, i have the urge to just send a sms to you.
saying: i miss you bby! but i know that'll make you uncomfortable.
this happens all the time. i'm just tired of waiting for your replies. i want to give up.
cause that might be the solution to this matter. but my heart just won't let me.
i hate my life for being so screwed up.
i hate you for entering my life and made such a difference.
i hate myself for letting you in and loving you with my all.
i just hate everything right now.
cause there's no one to wipe my tears as i'm typing now.
i'm trying my very best to prevent tears from falling.
don't think you can happily settle down and move on. you promised a reply to my email. which was due 6 months ago.
i'm just so disturbed by the fact that one moment, you're so friendly and sweet but the next moment, you ignore me like i don't even exist.
right now, i'm struggling to control myself from contacting you. but i know it won't make any difference to you. cause you don't even feel a loss without me.
get out of my life if you don't want to stay. but at least give me a confirmation.
i'm trying my damn best to move on but i just stop halfway.
something which i can't explain myself. and it's your fault. fuck you, love, with love.

i loved you, i still do.
i miss you like nobody's business.
i wish you do too but,
how could you be so damn heartless?

shoo fly, don't bother me.
i really hope you read this.

it ended: 0211.
26 May 2009.
till next time.
mucho loves.
iifaa

Alah Emak Kahwinkan Aku

Sesungguhnya ku ingin dirimu
Tuk cairkan hatiku yang beku
Aku tak mau menyakitimu
Karna hati ini masih ragu
Tapi aku buntuh cinta
Aku jadi dilema
Dilema-Intan Nuraini

OH MAMA SAYA MAHU KAHWIN
KAHWIN DENGAN SIAPA?
DENGAN TOM KURUS YANG TINGGAL DI HOLLANDWOOD!

After watching the encore episode of Kpak Bing Bing last weekend, I just felt like marrying ASAP. Haha.
With who? Don't ask. I don't have the answer myself.
Believe it or not, I cried while watching. It was too touching la. Why must the guys be so romantic and old and married? Haha.
I shall wait for my turn, lol. For now, registration and application for boyfriends starts now. DOUBLE LOL. XD

Ps: missing Adam Hazrin's daddy big time. Priority for applying given to him. So if you know who you are, please register now! LOL.

it ended: 2334.
19 May 2009.
till next time.
mucho loves.
iifaa

Mangkuk Tingkat

Hey, I'm bored. Anyway, I met the usuals on Sunday for Huda's brother's wedding reception. Mas, Arif, Izan, Ain & Sarah. Saw Atiqa, Izzati & Janet there. It was okay. Fiza O was one of the DJs. Nearing to the end of the event, Fiza was like asking the guests some riddles. Who answers correctly will get a prize. I got TWO correct. So TWO prizes for me. Haha. Kalau kambing jadi ikan, ikan jadi apa? Jadi BANYAK lah. Dalam banyak-banyak tingkat, tingkat apa yang takde nombor? MANGKUK TINGKAT duhh! Hahaha! Kesian cameraman. Whatever sey. Nevermind. Anyway, thanks Huda for inviting and for the prize. Abang dia handsome la sey. Dapat anak confirm lawa. Huda, suroh anak abang kau tunggu anak aku kay. Lol. I think that should be all la eh.

Btw, I went for my first Adiratna training just now (ytd). It was okay. But my pitching and clapping cannot make it sey. Need to train. Who knows, when I graduate, I might be able to sing. HAHAHA! A LA EH WA! Cheydeybah.

I still love you la.

it ended: 0150.
05 May 2009.
till next time.
mucho loves.
iifaa

Lost Love

Baking class yesterday was okay. In case you people don't know, I went for ice cream making class last Saturday alone cause mummy was working. And yesterday I went for Barbie cake & cartoon decoration class with mummy & Aunty Eunice. I was sleepy the whole time but I managed to design my own cake. Although it wasn't up to standard, it was nice cause it was Barney! I loike! I'm going to practise making my ice cream when I have time to spare. Maybe I'm going to make some for Yai's birthday. Maybe. Hahaha. Bought stockings at Woodlands pasar malam. The thicker type, since mummy got duped by the aunty. Whatever la. She'll get her just desserts for her actions. (:

I'm still not over you. Am I stupid for feeling so? I told myself I'll forget you. And I thought it was easy because I'm happier now with my friends and school. But I was wrong. The more I wanted to forget, the more I think of you and yearn for your love and attention. Tapi apakan daya, I can't get what I want. This morning, mummy said that I was still holding on to him who left. As far as I know, I let him go. And now, I want him back. But what I don't understand is how did mummy know my feelings? I thought I never show them publicly. And then she told me that kak lia asked her why I always look moody after school. And I was like, was I? I didn't even realise it. Seriously. Except for Tuesday, I thought I was ok. I really don't know what's happening to my life. I told myself and others that I'm strong. I show them likewise. But deep inside, I'm as weak as jelly. Even jelly can stabilise itself. Even the Leaning Tower of Pisa can stand until now. I really don't know who to confide in. I lost trust in almost everyone. I'm sorry to say that. I may trust my friends regarding other stuffs but not this. You told me to treasure my friends but in return, did they treasure me? I don't know. Ask them yourself. Actually, I don't understand myself. I told myself I won't be with him anymore. Seriously, I won't. Even if he asked me that question, my answer would probably be no. Despite this, I still crave for his undivided attention. I know that's not fair. For him and also for me. I know it's not right. I should let you go and out of my life. But the thoughts of you still linger. I would do anything to throw it all away but I just don't have the heart to do it, which makes me weak. You told me you'd still be my friend but I forgot friends don't talk to each other every day. So now, I'm not going to try to forget you anymore. Instead, I'm going to do my very best
to forget you. I'm sorry if this hurts you. You can confront me about it, no problem. But I just have one thing to say: you hurt me alot more than this, I have forgiven but I won't forget.
"I don't know if I still love you". Even so, I might not be strong enough to face the fact that you've moved on. So let's take it slow and steady, babe. Don't worry, LATT, iifaa, latifah, latti, minachi, girl and many others are all with you all the way. You know they love you, and you love them too. (:

And to dearest love,
I will still keep my promise to you, regardless whether you remember it or not. I don't know if you have found the key. If you have, maybe you threw it away or you just didn't want to unlock it. That's up to you. I can't force you. Anyway, take care okay. I know people are sceptical about us. So find someone suitable for you aites. And you still owe me roti john, please and discount from F&O. (: and one last thing, I'll still be ready for hulahula~ anytime for one good reason; love. It makes me love you even more.
From your then-love.

Forever, you'll be my baby.

it ended: 0223.
03 May 2009.
till next time.
mucho loves.
iifaa

Surprise Shock

Earlier this week, I felt abit jealous. But right now, I feel angry. It seems like I've been fooled or something. First of all, I don't understand why you must tell me about the date. Is it to spite me? Or is it just for fun or rather you feel obliged to tell me? I don't know. But that's still okay. It was okay until I found out you lied to me. Why did you? She never said yes. But you told me she did. Why? Cause I said I haven't been in contact with her for so long? So you thought that I won't find out? Perhaps you should know that we're damn close. We share almost everything with each other. And even if we don't talk to each other, or we always fight, we do update each other once in a while. So there's no escape. If lying to me wasn't enough, lying to her doesn't make it better. Since when was I busy? Did you even ask me? So now I'm not required to be there? If you can tell me about the date, why didn't you tell me you wanted to meet her? Cause it was last minute? Or cause you didn't want me to know? Or was it supposed to be private? If it was, asal bawak rombongan? Takot jumpe sorang2? Dah jumpe pastu buat hal sendiri. Pikir kelakar pe? Buang mase orang tau tk. I don't know what's your motive but all I have to say is that don't waste your time. You're not her type, seriously. You know I feel so ashamed right now. Cause you're my friend and I introduced you to her. And now, you're doing this. What if this matter is known by my family? People will say my friends are all tak betul. Because of you only, all my friends are being labelled as such. Is it fair? You tell me. Not only my friends, but I will be labelled as one who doesn't know how to choose friends. What the fuck. It's not even my fault. But they won't know. And I can't explain alone. At last, I'll suffer. It's like I have no other problems in my life and that I could manage some more. I'm on the verge of breaking down right now, not because of this cause you're not worth my tears, seriously. I have too many problems to handle, be it school, family, friends, myself and my lost love. So I'll appreciate it if you stop giving me problems. Even though you don't realise it. I wouldn't want our friendship to end just like that. I see you as a brother, so don't make me lose my trust for you. Think about it, dear. She's not interested in you.

I need psychological help.

it ended: 0231.

02 May 2009.

till next time.

mucho loves.

iifaa

School

Sorry for MIA-ing. Been busy with school. I don't think I will update about those that I promised.

But now I will talk about school, as a first year
student in Ngee Ann Polytechnic.

I won't call myself a freshie cause I'm so not one in NP. Faham-faham je la ye. :D

Wokay let's start. I decided to name my first week in school "The Faiz Week".

Mainly because I see him every day without fail coincidently.

Monday: at Boon Lay Interchange before school.

Tuesday: on the MRT to school. Wednesday: Makan Place? I forgot.

Thursday: on the bus to school and Makan Place. Friday: Block 46 IT Helpdesk.

Even so, we never talk to each other before. Hahaha.

Macam tkde orang lain nk jumpe. Jodoh-jodoh tkde uh. Ku serahkan pada takdir.
CHEY!

Anyway, first week was ok. Lessons have commenced. Some were easy others were not. But that's ok.

Made new friends. Namely, Renkai aka Tom-my, Jamie aka Eddy's Darling, YaYan, Ivan aka Dragonboater, Musa aka Aliff Aziz etc.

And not forgetting, Shijie aka BF. Hahaha. I want nobody, nobody, but you!

Oh ya, first week was hectic cause of Dance4Fund. Had to stay back every day to rehearse.

On the actual day, Thursday, we did our best, even though we didn't win, it was predicted. Haha.

I didn't expect to win anyway. Btw thanks to the Fs for coming even though you guys left early and didn't see me perform.

And also thinking that I danced with the NRA people. Hahaha. I'm not that talented.

And to complete the week, I joined Malay Cultural Club under Dikir Barat.

I also lepak-ed with Afiq, and Zul and his classmates before queuing for Ben&Jerry's Free Cone. Puas hati beb.

Second week was okay too. Maybe better maybe not. It was kind of draggy. But when it was Thursday, it seemed to have passed fast.

Just like the first week, the 2^nd week has a name too, "The Pehan Week". Hahaha. It was Pehan's turn to see tkde org lain but me.

Monday: Canteen 1 after school while waiting for Adiratna gathering to start.

Tuesday: Makan Place. 1^st time I tegur-ed him. Terperanjat nmpk bang. Hahaha.

Wednesday: on the bus to school. Thursday: saw him running for the bus at interchange while waiting for Jamie Darling.

No Friday. Labour Day baby. (:

ALOT of things happened this week. I'll talk about them in discreet in later posts. This I promise cause I see the need to.

I miss my baby

it ended: 0040.

02 May 2009.

till next time.

mucho loves.

iifaa