Baking class yesterday was okay. In case you people don't know, I went for ice cream making class last Saturday alone cause mummy was working. And yesterday I went for Barbie cake & cartoon decoration class with mummy & Aunty Eunice. I was sleepy the whole time but I managed to design my own cake. Although it wasn't up to standard, it was nice cause it was Barney! I loike! I'm going to practise making my ice cream when I have time to spare. Maybe I'm going to make some for Yai's birthday. Maybe. Hahaha. Bought stockings at Woodlands pasar malam. The thicker type, since mummy got duped by the aunty. Whatever la. She'll get her just desserts for her actions. (:

I'm still not over you. Am I stupid for feeling so? I told myself I'll forget you. And I thought it was easy because I'm happier now with my friends and school. But I was wrong. The more I wanted to forget, the more I think of you and yearn for your love and attention. Tapi apakan daya, I can't get what I want. This morning, mummy said that I was still holding on to him who left. As far as I know, I let him go. And now, I want him back. But what I don't understand is how did mummy know my feelings? I thought I never show them publicly. And then she told me that kak lia asked her why I always look moody after school. And I was like, was I? I didn't even realise it. Seriously. Except for Tuesday, I thought I was ok. I really don't know what's happening to my life. I told myself and others that I'm strong. I show them likewise. But deep inside, I'm as weak as jelly. Even jelly can stabilise itself. Even the Leaning Tower of Pisa can stand until now. I really don't know who to confide in. I lost trust in almost everyone. I'm sorry to say that. I may trust my friends regarding other stuffs but not this. You told me to treasure my friends but in return, did they treasure me? I don't know. Ask them yourself. Actually, I don't understand myself. I told myself I won't be with him anymore. Seriously, I won't. Even if he asked me that question, my answer would probably be no. Despite this, I still crave for his undivided attention. I know that's not fair. For him and also for me. I know it's not right. I should let you go and out of my life. But the thoughts of you still linger. I would do anything to throw it all away but I just don't have the heart to do it, which makes me weak. You told me you'd still be my friend but I forgot friends don't talk to each other every day. So now, I'm not going to try to forget you anymore. Instead, I'm going to do my very best
to forget you. I'm sorry if this hurts you. You can confront me about it, no problem. But I just have one thing to say: you hurt me alot more than this, I have forgiven but I won't forget.
"I don't know if I still love you". Even so, I might not be strong enough to face the fact that you've moved on. So let's take it slow and steady, babe. Don't worry, LATT, iifaa, latifah, latti, minachi, girl and many others are all with you all the way. You know they love you, and you love them too. (:

And to dearest love,
I will still keep my promise to you, regardless whether you remember it or not. I don't know if you have found the key. If you have, maybe you threw it away or you just didn't want to unlock it. That's up to you. I can't force you. Anyway, take care okay. I know people are sceptical about us. So find someone suitable for you aites. And you still owe me roti john, please and discount from F&O. (: and one last thing, I'll still be ready for hulahula~ anytime for one good reason; love. It makes me love you even more.
From your then-love.

Forever, you'll be my baby.

it ended: 0223.
03 May 2009.
till next time.
mucho loves.
iifaa